tontonla....

ni ak upload sket pic kat tioman ri tuh..bkn gamba ak pown..curik je..haha....

laot die cantek..hoho..mau pegi ag weh...

ni muke2 mabok laot sume..ak je tak..ahahaha

p/s: yg pkai spek sume juling..ngeh3...

ak dilemaskan oleh beliau..wakaka..tade ah..senanye ak nak menyelam x lepas tp ngade nk amek gamba lam air gak an.da r x reti brenang..mmg sengal..yg 2 org kiri kanan ak tuh guard ak kot2 ak lemas...ahaha..

ni la die sunset yg cantek yg ak telepas hr 1st tuh..wuwuwu..mau nengok sunset kat pulau....

okeh...sket2 da la..nk tengok byk2 korg g la sniri kat tioman nun..ahahaha...chow..

because I'm tired

...may I have a leaning shoulder

instead of a crying one

because I'm tired of giving my tears

just to hear people say

don't cry

your tears solve nothing

and does that words solve anything?

I doubt that...

Tioman vacation trip

post kli neyh mayb pnjg sket coz ak nk cite sume pasal trip g tioman..keh3..sabo ye mmbace..gmbo2 xdpt nk diupload coz ak tade camera..nt da ade gmbo ak upload ye..

19/02/2010

awal2 pg ag ak da bgn.niat ati nk wat breakfast terlaksane.siap2 bekemas lam kol 7 gtu tros trn g bwh nak bekumpul nek bus.sptutnye kumpul kol 6.45 tp da telajak nk wat cane..bus pown x smpe ag tyme tuh..lek3..haha.naek bus ni pown stu hal..nk kate jln die trok sgt tataw la plak ak.xsmpat lak nk kaji road profile die..tp incik driver neyh bwk..rase cm nek roller coaster gilooo...gayat isi perot ak spnjg jln nk smpe sane.siap ade yg injured ag trhantuk nye pasal..(p/s: len kali kalo nk tdo ats bus utm sile balut kepale anda terlebih dahulu..haha).sggah jap kat memane ntah.xbape nak R&R sgt la..mkn jap,maen2 pastuh nek bus smbung balek journey g jeti Mersing.smpe sane awl sket la kot sbb kne tggu agk lme la b4 dpt nek feri.kol bape tataw la ak pown x smpt nk usha jam (mcmla ak ade jam)..eheh..ak yg smmgnye xckp tdo n ngantok mmg xthn lame la..kejap je feri jln ak da lelap.kdg2 tejage dgr la mcm2 irama org muntah..kejap dr dpn,dr blakang,kiri..seb bek yg kat kanan ak kuarkan isi je tp x kuarkan bunyi..ak??haha..da asek tdo je bile plak ak nk muntah..haha..smpe kg salang lbey krg kol 1 gitu kot..tros lunch pastuh rht2 jap..lam kol 3 lbey dak2 neyh ajk merayau tepi2 pntai..pns terik gilo tyme tuh.tp lo da sume org pown pegi xkan ak nk tggl ot..kate g tioman nk men puas2..maka brjln la kami ber8 smbl disirami chy mentari kt tpi pntai tuh..lam 4.30 kne kumpul nk g sewa snorkeling set.ceis..igtkn da msk skali lam pakej..pas tuh tros diorg ajk men air..tyme tuh pale blah kanan da start denyut2 da..mate pown cm xbape nk bley bkak jew..tp nk men air nye psl ak ikot gak..wat2 lupe..tp smpe kt tepi pntai tuh mmg ak mcm nk off da..air mate pown da pndai kuar sniri sbb saket sgt..ble dak2 neyh tnye ak nk bukak molot nk jwb pown x daya da..senyum je la buley (seb bek bley senyum ag)..punyela tega ak nk men air gak ngn besusah pyh ak jalan cecah kaki kat air..yay!!!dpt gak maen air even saket..hehe..balek tuh ak mndi2 buang lekit air laut pastuh tros tebongkang.."wei tgk r luar neyh.sunset lawa gle weh!!"."aah la weih..lawa gilo..amek gmba cpt3"..FYI ak tade lam situasi di atas krn ak terbaring kesakitan ats katil..nak aje ak gam molot sorg2..tgk senyap2 da la weh..nk kasi ak jeles ke hape neyh..haha..mlmnye ak mlayan rase saket sorg2 lam blek sdg yg len sonok begumbire...sgtla saket ati ini...tp pe ley wat....

20/02/2010

bgn subuh ak tros smgt nk g tgk sunrise..maka ak pown besiap2 la..pkai tros bju nk g snorkeling jap g.adeih..mane la nk nmpk sunrise kt cni beb..telindung kt blakag nun..ceis..tape2..ktorg g breakfast then ready kt jeti.ak g tmbh fin.smlm x amek tp tetbe rase cam memerlukan la plak mmndgkan kali neyh nk g laut dlm bkn tepi2 cm kt sabah dlu..gerak g port 1st dkt je ngan kg salang.sonok..nengok penyu..bg ikan mkn..amek gmbo lam air..hehe..suke3..next port kat Long Beach Island..best gile pasir die..ase nk angkut wak balek umah haha..berenang n brsnorkeling ag..kali ni nak amek gmbo lam air dkt coral tp mslhnye..ak selam xsmpe semnt tmbul balek..tamo tggelam tros smpe bwh..haha..stlh mghadiri sesi blaja ngn mmbr ak bley gak selam smpe dasar..haha..sengal juge..sgt sonok maen kt pulau ni..ase tamo balek..tp kne gerak gak nk g port yg ke3..Batu Malang name die..dalammm..trn dr bot tros 20ft..msk kwsn batu tuh krg sket.6ft guide 2 kate tp ombak kuat gile..sptutnye msk ikot laen kuar ikot laen tp sbb ombak kuat sgt ktorg kne patah balek...bley thn la cntik tp pnat weh..ak kalo tade org tlg tarek mmg xkuar ah dr ctu..asek kne pkl ngn ombak jew..so sume pown balek snorkeling dkt2 ngan bot je..alkisahnye kt cni..sume org tetibe pelik..asal la ikan neyh banyak gle kt tepi bot ni weh??lawa2 plak tuh..rupe2 nye..ade org bru pas mnta kt ctu..hampeh tol..smgt je sume org bekejar2 nk g men ngn ikn kt ctu..da tau tuh kelam kabut sume lari tpt len..haha..ok..habes 3 port kami blek ke kg salang smule..ptg 2 ak ajk mandi laot lg sume org pown tanak..wat2 tataw je..ye la diorg da men smlm tyme ak ngah saket2 tuh..tyme ak da sht diorg plak pnat tanak men.kecewa ak..tape la..jln pown jln la..nk tggu sunset..tp tggu pnye tggu x nmpk la plak..tetutup ngan awan..lg skali ak kecewa..mlmnye plak kne tggu bbq lambt plak siap.igt dpt mkn puas2 skli mkn ala kadar je..kecewa lg..next igt nk jln2 tp sume org pown cm tanak..ade la sorg 2 je nak..diorg cite smlm diorg mancing ikan dpt byk ak pown sonok nk tgk org mncing gak..tp tggu smpe bosan2 da kol 2 lbey bru dpt seko..hr ni ak kecewa brgande2..ase nk je join org ngah meloncat2 kat bar tuh..tp ak msh waras..make ak pown balek tdo..

21/02/2010

Disebabkan hr ni nk balek ktorg dak pompuan sume bgn awal..dah kate feri 8.30 an..kang nk brkfast ag..so kne r siap awal..mlgnye dak laki bape ktol je yg igt rini nk balek..akbtnye..km telepas feri..so tepakse la tggu lg 5 jam utk next feri..smbil tuh ak g bg mkn ikan smbil tgk org mancing..syok3..kejap je uncle tuh da dpt ikan..tp kalo ktorg x bg ikn mkn kt ctu ikan2 tuh x dtg..xdpt gak die ikan..hehe..tp kalo da 5 jam ak tgk ikan,ikan tgk ak..ak bg mkn ikan,ak plak sape nk bg mkn..adeih..bosan gilo..men teka teki pown dah..ke toilet pown suda..bru la feri smpe..pnuh gle..da tmbh ktorg 40 ktol mmg la pnoh..ade bape org ntah trpkse la nek feri laen..sniri yg wat hal..tade plhn..ngan pkcik bus pown tepakse deal semule..smpe jeti mersing da kol 4 centu..jnji ngn bus kol 5 senanye tp sbb incik tuh kate die ade trip laen pas neyh..so die suh cpt2 walhal sume org pown mmg bajet nk bli brg kat jeti..pe cer weh..cuace yg sgt pns ak pown da saket pale..nek bus tros lelap smpe utm..tataw la pe jd spnjg prjlann tuh..huhu..smpe blek ak smpt smyg n kuarkan brg dr beg je..pastuh tln ubat tros hanyut...

ntah la..ak ase senanye best g tioman kali neyh..tp disebabkan ak yg sng sgt kne migrain make mmg spoil mood vacation tol ah..mlm 1st ak kat tioman dihbskan ngan tdo kt blek je sdg yg len sonok brgumbire..ptg org sonok2 mndi laot ak teseksa..2nd day org da pnt ak bru nk sebok2 men laot..b4 ak g tioman ak nk sgt tgk sunrise ngan sunset kat pulau..tp last2 ape yg ak dpt??sunburn jew...dgr diorg cite mkn kt sane puas gile..buffet la katekan..tp kat sane slain tyme brkfast ak ase ak mkn sisa2 je ot..tade r lmbt mane pown ak dtg..tyme bbq pown ak abes berebot da tp centu gak..haishh..whatever la..yg pntg nt cite kat parents kne cite yg best2 jew...yg xbest tabley cite..lo x nnt diorg kate,"2 la..org x bg p nk p jgk..padan le muke kamu"..haha..adeih..

she just 4 years old kiddo

In my last post i talked a bit about saying 'sorry'. It reminds me about a story. Once, I was in my secondary school,working on something in the school's main hall. My teacher brought his children together.They are about 4 to 9 years old and as always I like to tease his daughter. I'm not hating children of cause...daaa..I don't know,maybe i was kind of overacting that night (I forgot what i did to her actually).She was frightened with me and she keep screaming and running when i came near her and lastly,she burst into tears..I just left her there with an evil laugh and continue doing my work..haha..

The next day, that little girl came again following her father.My teacher always brought his children together when there were after school activities. I look at her and smile to her face..no response..she move to the other side of her father.Okay,maybe she still angry with me about last night..fine with me.she will forget it soon..

A week after, we had a stall opened for the student's night market program. I saw that girl with her father so I went near her and say hi..she gave the same response as before.I took out a bar of chocolate and give it to her,she refuse..she ran to her brother and joint him playing,ignoring me...she still remember about last week?still angry with me?but..she just a 4 years old kid.she never that upset with me before..err..except that night was the first time i made her cry..

Then,i decide.I went close to her while she just stood there like someone waiting for something.I smile to her and the word 'sorry' slip out from my mouth.She look at my face,smile back to me and we shake hands..that's the end of her 'angriness'.a simple sorry change everything back to normal.

WOW..how a 4 years old little girl appreciate the need for apologize..when i think this through,sometimes i was ashamed with myself..eheh..

there's no need for 'thank you' and 'sorry' in a friendship

"misunderstanding: the entrance to the world of true friendship"

i just red this statement somewhere.is it true??so how many times we enter the world of true friendship if there were so much misunderstood,like always have??or we actually did not reach the entrance yet?i don't know.some people said "there's no need for 'thank you' and 'sorry' in a friendship".those words are kind of formality and formality is the poisonous of friendship.true friends will feel the words through their heart and there's no need to say them out loud because they will understand.

this is the real world and i'm facing the real friendship here (am i?),and i doubt all those saying..could i?what i can see for my entire life is like almost everyone think they deserve a 'thank you' for all they've done.what i mean here is people want to be appreciate and they feel like we take them for granted if we didn't say it to their face.

and about the other word,'sorry'.when there's misunderstanding, there's always a need for explanation and it ends up with someone need to apologize or else the other party will get hurt.even when i wrote this, i know there are maybe some people out there in the state of misunderstood with me and start to scratch their heart so hard till it hurt with their thinking.i didn't mean to hurt them somehow.i'm just wrote this generally.but still i wanna say sorry if i hurt anybody with what i've written.

as for me,friends are still human,normal..they still need those two words once in a while.

A Strong Woman vs. A Woman Of Strength

A strong woman works out everyday to keep her body in shape…
But a woman of strength builds relationships to keep her soul in shape

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything…
But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the better of her…
But a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future…
A woman of strength realises life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings, and capitalises on them

A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face…
But a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey…
But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

me, myself and I..we're good as a team right??

me: cehhhhhhh...ye2 je ko multi-task engineer konon..meticulous la, able to work under pressure la..excellent team player la..blablabla..what so ever..last2 double meeting pown tabley nak handle..haprak..

myself: ha tau x pe..siap bley miss 1 meeting ag..

I:oloh..time constrain kot..mane smpt nak keja sume..

me: aalaaaahhh..A.L.A.S.A.N!!!!kalo ko btol2 manage time ko bley je pegi due2..

myself: ha...btoi3...

I: ckp senang aaa...penat ot..ngan bepeluh2 bdn melekit2 xslesa lgsung ot..cane nk g ngadap lecturer...

myself: hah btol gak tuh..kang pepasal je lecturer tuh cop muke slekeh..

me: ha korek ah ag byk2 alasan..x ckp g psz wat research

myself: weh die neyh nak wat research utk group assignment pown berat..rjin plak die nk g psz cr mnde alah 2 sume...

me: hekeleh..ak memain je ot..yg ko seyes sgt tuh what kejadahnye??

I: ntah die neyh..bajet die rjin sgt r plak..

myself:lah??ak plak dah yg kene..wak lu??

me: olololo..nak gado r plak..korg tuh 2 x 5 je ot..mcm shit..same jew..kuar dr bontot sape pown namenye shit jugak..

I: agak2 r beb..nk compare pown takkan ngan shit ot..sedar la sket ko tuh sape..

me: ak ngah sedar r neyh..ak nih ko,korg tuh plak aku..ak pon korg gak..kalo korg shit ak pown shit la gak..hampeh...

myself: korg plak nk gado..x bwk untung r weh..bek g tdo jom..

me: btol3..jom tdo..kang mlm nak kne g meeting ag..

I: hah cmni ah team mate..skali cadang tros dpt kate spakat...haha..jom2 tdo..

lalalala

fuhhhhhh....baru abes 1 assignment..da lame ak x se'determine' ni wat keje..dr pg smpe mlm..benti kejap je..waahhhh..kagum3..(padehal keje last mnt) haha..tetibe tingat dak klas sorg neyh ckp 'u look charming when u're determine n focus on doing something'..heh..die bkn ckp kat aku la.ri 2 die kate org yg ske men computer game is charming,so 2 la explanation die for his statement..jdnye ak charming la hr ni eh??cewaaahhh...tau dah ak mmg always charming..huhu

erk..

"basuh mulut x cuci",ak ase ak slalu je dgr n gune ayt ni.tp nape bile ak ckp gtu rini ade yg pelik..seb bek ade gak yg phm mksud aku..hehe..tu la malaysia neyh kan kaye ngan mcm2 base,loghat n dialek smpe sesame bangse ckp pown kdg2 x phm.

ingat ag dak2 neyh gelakkan aku pasal semut selangor n ikan loma..seyes la weh 2 spesies tuh mmg wujud.semut selangor tuh besar pastu die jln lajuuuuuu...ade plak kate ak konfius ngan kerengge..adeih..org selangor pown x knal smut selangor.meh ak gelakkan korg plak...hahahahaahh...

yg ikan loma tuh pulak lg la mmg femes kot kat perak nun..lg2 ikan loma wat pekasam..pergh..habes nsik sepiuk..2 la..ak ajak g perak lepak umah ak tanak..haha

adeih..sbb 2 la ak jarang pkai base pasar yg bese ak pkai kat umah bile kuar..kang ade gak ak kne gelak ag kalo org x phm..tp bukan spatutnye ak ke yg gelak sbb diorg x phm..hahaha..lg la ak x phm..ngek ngok..pape je la..

thanks for the wonderful night

just come back from night out with birthday girl and other girlfriends.My stomach is kind of full,can't sleep,so,hi my blog...

First of all i wanna say sorry to them.Actually, i'm not feeling so well tonight.Hormone imbalanced,well,women things..I try my best to hide it from them all because i just don't want to spoil the night,but,i'm not good at acting.They detected that i'm looking uncomfortable and they keep asking whether i'm ok."Yup,i'm ok",God knew i lied...however,still i hold the pain till the end.

'Mee Bandung Muar',I thought they really wanna drive to Muar just to eat mee bandung.But when we make our way to Kampung Pasir then I realize actually it just a name.Luckily i'm not that excited of going to Muar..haha

After dinner we headed to Danga Bay,looking for some entertainment.First,we rent a bike,RM39 for 30 minutes.A family bike with 6 seats actually but we fill up with 7 passengers.urgghh..it's almost like a training session.After 1 round we are already exhausted and i'm sweating like hell.We sent back the ride before the 30 minutes end with a rickety sounds and almost blow up tyre..haha..even a few passer-by warned us about the sounds..hehe..

Next,for the first time in my life i try one of the free fall drop thing.What does it call??I don't know, but this time i tried the ship.I guess this is not a secret actually but normally people will surprise if i told them that honestly i'm acrophobia (fear of heights).Before this i keep on refusing when people ask me to try but tonight i decide to be brave.Well i'm quiet cool when the ship start moving,a good start i think.But it's not last for long.As the ship goes higher and higher i shut my eyes when the ship went down and just open it when the ship start to go up again.i can't help myself from shaking,screaming and holding the bar tightly.owh man..i left my heart up there i think..fuhh..luckily i'm not crying..haha..what a shame...

We went for karaoke,testing our amazing voice with 14 songs then we left Danga Bay.We stop at McD to have supper before back to college.Thanks guys for inviting me to enjoy this wonderful night.I'm glad to have such an experience which make me realize actually i haven't overcome all my fears and phobias yet.I'll tell you later about that because right now i'm ready to catch my sweet dreams..nyte2..

just the same little girl

It's almost 12 noon in a hot sunny day. A little girl wipe away her sweat that running through her face as she pluck the chilies into her tin. The sun is burning her face and her stomach craving for food. Seeing others still concentrating on their chilies, she continue her work, ignoring all her thirst and hunger. The tin need to be full in order to get the full payment;RM5/tin. Lunch break for a while then the work proceed till the evening and this last for a few weeks or maybe months before the land was cleared for a rubber trees plantation.

A little girl gets ready in her complete attire in the dark, cold morning, waiting for her mother. Today they will walk through the cut woods looking for some 'kulat' to be sold. In the evening she follows her grandparents to their farm to work on their corn plantation. Besides, they also got some useful and edible plant to take care of. This happen once in a few years when the re-plantation of rubber tree took place. Sometimes they give her some money and she was so grateful so she can fill up her ceramic-mangoesteen shape small bank.

A few men busy doing their work, place the block, paste some cement here and there. A girl spotted under a tree, taking a break, drinking water and having some biscuits. She works with the men, constructing house for a living, and there's her boss, her father. She put down her glass and back to work. Seems like the sands and the blocks almost finish so she took a wheelbarrow and continue her work, moving the sands and blocks nearer to the built house to ease the builder. It's a hot-bright-sunny day and the full, heavy wheelbarrow obviously chafed her smooth little hands.

Looking how determine the lady doing her work really admirable. She walks quickly from one tree to another while her hand busy carving the repeated art at the rubber tree, ignoring the hot sunlight that washes her face. From far away, a sweet girl; her daughter, walk towards her with a bottle of drink water. That’s the story of yesterday. Today, both of them are busy collecting all the latex. With the price reach RM5/kilo, their hard works are kind of worth it. But there’s always a nightmare for a rubber tapper like them; you work hard for almost a week, go home and sleep but when you come back tomorrow, all your latex are gone. This is what happened to them last month when someone stole their white latex. The girl sympathy with her mother, sadly she’s helpless.

The girls in all the story I’ve told is just the same little girl that grown up and become me today.Tracking back the old time, so nostalgic yet encouraged. That’s the time when I love being me, the moments that I’ll miss for my entire life.

doesn't mean you're not loved

giving someone all your love

is never an assurance that they will love you back

don't expect love in return

just wait for it to grow in their heart

but if it doesn't

be content that it grew in yours

if someone you love

doesn't love you as much as you do

he's just too eligible to enjoy your precious love

don't waste on him

there's always someone,somewhere is waiting for your love

just walk your life and you'll find him

right there smiling at you

maybe

we were suppose to meet the wrong person

before meeting the right one

so that

when we finally meet the right person

we will know how to be grateful for that gift

you should know this

the way people show their loves to their love one

different from one another

that's what make love so special

because others will not get the very similar thing as you got

and vice versa

so

enjoy the shower of love from everyone around you

that will be the greatest shower you ever had

p/s: i've post this somewhere before......

maybe sometimes we need to stop talking and start listening.maybe people around us tired of listening and they want to do the talking.but i'm here..tired of both..i don't want to talk and i don't wanna listen..you wanna talk just go on but please don't push me to pay attention..you wanna listen?then listen to my silence..maybe i can hear you but i'm not sure i will listen..maybe i see you but i'm not sure i will watch you..and..maybe i smile to you but i'm not sure that smile is for you..because i'm so tired to entertain you after all this time..honestly..you are damn bored and annoying as well..why i'm posting this here?obviously i can't say this straight to you or i'll be the murder of your heart..wait3..your heart..yeah..that's it!!that's what make my heart has so much wounds,holes and full with sign of shatter..that's because i'm to busy entertaining your heart till i forgot that my heart also need to be take care of..ok then..starting now and onwards i quit be your heart's entertainer...right now...i bet you don't realize..that I'M FUCKING HURT!!!!!!

huh..ok..i'm fine now..really..

taking much giving less

there's a lot of things happen lately and i'm not sure whether i'm happy with them or not.but still,there's some part of the story that really make me moved and realize what i'm doing right now is not enough...

every morning i'll received a call,obviously that's from my parents,waking their little princess from her not-so-sweet dreams to make sure that she had done solat....and i'm 21..

when i'm crossing the road with my parents, one of them or sometimes both holding my hand through the traffic...and i'm 21..

i'm home and none of them push me to do any housework on my 1st day home..the following days they ask me to help but they say nothing if i refuse...and i'm 21..

i'm lying fucking sick on the bed and hardly refuse to call them just not to worry them;a few minutes later they give a call just to say hello and just to know how i'm doing...and i'm 21..

i never ask them for money and they never hang up the phone without asking if i need money...and i'm 21..

i ask them for some'thing' (wanna emphasize here,'thing'),i always got them..just a matter of time..and i'm 21..

there're lots more but i don't think listing all of them is a good idea.all these make me wonder..is there any sweet-21-babe that having the same treat as i am?i don't know..maybe sometimes people say"hey come on,you're 21 and your parents still babysitting you all the times!!"Then what??i'm not taking that as babysitting but i'm sure they just love me too much and that's their way..jealous much huh??

it's not that i didn't realize about this earlier,but i just..huh..sometimes i just too busy thinking of myself till i forgot about this,with all their love that i take and what i gave back??

i pick up the phone and push their number when i 'suddenly' think of them..

hang out with friends till late at night?no,no,no..don't call them.if they did??tell them i'm eating somewhere..just don't tell them i'm out..

owh mom please3 let me go..that's when i wanna go somewhere but my parents are too worry to let me go..owh have i thought how worry they were??no..what i can see is how happy i am when i reach there..

so unpredictable..suddenly request for something fucking crazy..obviously make them fucking worried..and all of sudden cancel the fucking request..damn...

oouuhhh...also a long list and i just pick some..knowing how i'm not appreciate them make me feel useless..thus..for this coming holiday..i don't mind whether they get the ticket back here for me or not,i know they've tried..if there's ticket,Tioman,here i come..if no,then say goodbye to the trip..i know it such a waste since i've paid for it and i also know that my parents will be very happy if i could stay longer at home..so..which one is more significant??my happiness or their happiness??i'm happy if they happy and so are they..and i prefer to be happy with them..